With MP3 players and iPods and the like, it is so easy to have a song playing as you move through life. Think of it kind of like the score to your life’s motion picture. If I were to hear what’s playing in the background of your life at this very moment, what would I hear: Eye of the Tiger or Taps (you know the song they play at funerals?)
You may have chuckled, but the fact of the matter is that many people have a song of the caliber of Taps playing in the recesses of their mind. Why? Because most people can’t get passed the setbacks of their past. And I don’t think people set out to be a victim, at least I didn’t, but in full transparency, having the crutch of my dysfunctional past beside me was always my way of lessening the need to take personal responsibility for my actions when I was young. You see, it was always someone else’s fault – my mom’s for going to jail, my dad’s for being an addict, you get the point. Eventually being the victim got old and I had to stop playing the victim chorus.
When you have a victim mindset, life is never fun. It’s actually exhausting because you expend nothing but negative energy all day, every day. And that got old. I had to stop blaming my parents and start taking decisive action so that I could have a different story to tell, and of course I turned 11.
It’s a known fact that what holds us back are the songs we keep replaying on our mental playlist. The songs we play are made up of the old stories of setback, lack, disappoint, fear, etc,. The chorus of those songs is based on what we keep referring to whenever we think that getting out of our comfort zone is our next step. Just hearing a few bars of the first stanza makes us revert back to where we are most comfortable. After all, fear leads us to believe that where we are now is a safe place.
I believe that if you don’t like what’s playing you have to change the station. The way you make the change is to stop telling your current story and tell the one you want to experience instead.
I think that Norman Vincent Peale knew exactly what he was talking about when he wrote “change your thoughts and you change your world.” Our thoughts are always equal to our feelings and beliefs (mostly self-sabotaging) which ultimately dictate our actions and hinder our results. So it’s quite likely that you haven’t achieved what you desire because you don’t believe that you can and the song you’re playing keeps you focused on that all the time.
We are a society that lives on “hand-me-downs” and more often than not, the “hand-me-downs” we took possession of from our parents are exactly what we are still wearing even though, more than likely, they no longer fit.
It’s certainly easier to keep doing what you’re doing with the exception that you get more of what you’ve already got. So if you are ready to change what’s on your mental playlist, here are three recommendations that I have for you.
1. When you first wake up, don’t turn on the radio or television; don’t pick up your phone and see what is happening on your Facebook stream. Instead, use the 20 minutes when you first wake up to set clear intentions of what you desire to welcome into your life. This is the time when we are still in our alpha wave state (dream state) which is always a safe place and our subconscious is high. Because our subconscious doesn’t know the difference between what is true and false, it will act as if what you desire is already true for you and bring you to it as quickly as possible. I recommend creating 10 index cards with positive, present tense statements that share what you desire in your life. By using index cards, you can carry them with you and read them throughout the day for reinforcement. Remember the power of flash cards when you were learning how to multiply? Whenever possible, start these cards with “I am so happy and grateful now that…” Doing this offers a few benefits:
- It celebrates your gratefulness. The more often we are in gratitude the less likely we are to be in fear and gratitude is an accelerator of abundance. What we are grateful for, we attract more of in our lives.
- You begin to train yourself to act as if you already possess that which you desire which keeps your mind shifted to the possibility and positivity associated with the new belief.
2. Find a new song. There is a lot of power in music and much like gratitude, music is an accelerator. Find a song that gives you hope, power and passion to pursue what you desire to welcome into your life. Play this song a minimum of 4 times a day. Be sure the new song produces positive emotion and elation at the possibility. A few weeks ago I wrote a blog that highlighted what’s on my playlist that keeps me enthused and focused and any one of them would make a stellar replacement for you. As a bonus, I even recommend that you journal about your new song and the hope it gives you to stay consistent and focused on shifting your reality.
3. Minimize the amount of time you spend with people who join in on the chorus of your former Most Played Song. It is very true that we become like the 5 people with whom we spend the majority of our time. As George Fraser says it, “don’t spend major time with minor people.” By changing your circle of influence you reduce the risk of returning to your old playlist. Oliver Wendell Holmes said best “when a mind has been expanded, it can’t return to its former way of thinking.” As you search for a new song, don’t look back. The old song doesn’t serve you anymore.
At my upcoming event, Own Your Incredible Factor, we’ve dedicated and entire day to this kind of life altering mindset work. To learn more about joining us in Orlando Nov 7-9, 2012 visit us here.
©2012 by Darnyelle A. Jervey. All Rights Reserved. Darnyelle A. Jervey, MBA, The Incredible Factor Speaker, Business Coach and Marketing Mentor, is the founder of Incredible One Enterprises.com, Incredible Factor University® the Leverage Your Incredible Factor System® a proven step-by-step program for more clients, more income and more leverage in your business. For more information and a FREE audio CD “5 Critical Mistakes Entrepreneurs Must Avoid When Unleashing Your Incredible Factor So You Attract More Clients, Make More Money and Gain More Leverage” just fill out the form below.