Every single one of us has a story.
My question: From which vantage point does your story originate?
While this may seem like a loaded question, it’s not. Either your story still owns you or you’ve owned your story. Part of the reason I enjoy working with uncompromising entrepreneurs and CEOs is because of the story – the passion behind the man/woman. As CEOs of our own companies, we can leverage our story to impact the lives of many. But that will never happen unless you shift your story’s power.
If you aren’t careful, your story will do more harm than good and it will stifle your growth in every facet of your life.
In this week’s episode of Incredible Factor TV, I’m answering Jayla’s question. Check it out:
“Hi Darnyelle, one of the things I love about you is that you have made your story your power source and it inspires and fuels your efforts. How can you help someone who desperately needs to stop giving their permission to speak do just that?”
Watch my response to Jayla’s question:
As I state in the episode, “The life you live is created by the story you tell.” Abraham-Hicks and the only way to get out from under your story is to shift the point from which you tell the story.
Here’s what I mean:
When I first started working professionally, I was a basket case (to put it mildly.) And, every time something didn’t go my way, I pulled out my victim hat and made my past, upbringing and/or parents the scapegoat to shirk all responsibility and hopefully get enough sympathy to get my out of trouble.
That was until I heard the quote above. As if the light switch had been abruptly turned on, I got it. The only one who could change my situation was me. And because I didn’t know how to do that myself, I sought help in the form of a therapist. The most important part of this story is that I was able to shift my story’s vantage point – instead of my past owning me, I owned my past.
If you’re ready to do the same thing, try these tips:
1. Own that you have a story. Decide to embrace your story versus being embarrassed by it. (Trust me most people are as jacked up as you are anyway 🙂 ) Acknowledgement is the first step toward forgiveness and repositioning. And when you own your story, you’ll help so many other people who have been through something similar. Because you are the brand of your company, your story of overcoming obstacles as the backdrop can create brand equity that you can borrow against for years to come.
2. Decide what the story means and how you can use it to fulfill your mandate on this planet. This step is key but it will take a lot of self-reflection to do it. Oh, and depending on your story, it will be painful. But the pain can give rise to power if you commit to doing the work.
3. Forgive yourself and the others who have played a starring role in your story. This one is easier to write than to do, so take your time getting to forgiveness. Know that until you forgive and that forgiveness is for you not them, you won’t get the freedom you desire from your story and more importantly, your story won’t help anyone else.
4. Get clear about what you want instead and rewrite your story. Just because it happened doesn’t mean it has to keep happening. You can “kill” the story by gaining control of it. I can literally stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people and tell all about what I’ve been through and not feel any emotion. That’s because today it’s just a story. It has no power. I forgave myself, I forgave them and I decided to take control of the story by deciding to stop giving my past permission to speak. A good question to ponder here is what do I want people who hear my story to take away? I can guarantee you won’t want them taking away that you are a powerless victim.
5. Get outside help if you need to. I have seen a therapist on and off for nearly 20 years. And I don’t apologize nor am I embarrassed by it. The truth is, my sanity, confidence and tenacity is intact because I sought help. I couldn’t manage my story for myself and I needed honest, objective, non-judgmental counsel to sort through my mess. No one has to know you are getting help unless you tell them, but as you shift your story’s vantage point you’ll come to realize that you really don’t care what others think of you.
Until you do these five things, your story’s power will knock you on your back. Once you come out of the other side, your story will rock someone’s world and position them for change.
Now I want to hear from you, what’s your two cents?: How have you shifted your story’s power? How is telling your story as a victor helping to change the lives of those you serve in your business?
©2015 by Darnyelle A. Jervey. All Rights Reserved. Darnyelle A. Jervey, MBA, The Incredible Factor Business Optimization Coach and Mentor, is the founder of Incredible One Enterprises®, Incredible Factor University® and the Leverage Your Incredible Factor System®, a proven step-by-step program so you experience financial and spiritual abundance in your life because of your business. For more information and a FREE audio CD “7 Critical Mistakes Even Smart Entrepreneurs Must Avoid for Clients, Connection and Cash Flow!” just fill out the form below.