All month long, we are featuring questions from our creative director, Blake Saunders.
When we are shooting our Incredible Factor TV episodes, Blake wants to ask me off-the-cuff questions. Usually, I ignore him. However, this October, I’ve decided to humor him and so all month long, he’s asking the questions.
This week’s question:
“How do you deal with success when you experience jealousy and envy from family and friends?”
Watch my response to Blake’s question here:
As I share in the episode, one of the BEST books I ever read was….What You Think of Me is Not My Business by Teri Cole Whitaker. I LOVE THIS BOOK. The reason I love it is because it offers the best insights on how to build your confidence and position yourself to achieve your dreams no matter what others might say. The fact is, it’s your life, your success and your dreams and no one else is responsible to create them for you. It’s your business. And for those who don’t like, love or appreciate what you’re doing, well that’s not your business. If you’re struggling with being confident or you are struggling with the “but what will others think” syndrome, this book is a must-read.
I totally have had my share of this occur and what you have to do is focus on what you want to expand. If you’re not interested in the negative attention or energy, don’t give it life. Take the high road and just walk away. Here are my best tips for dealing with jealousy as you build your business:
1. Don’t take it personally. I know this may be hard when you feel like you’re under attack. But the fact is that the criticism, jealousy and hate isn’t really about you. It’s about them and the fact that you’re being a mirror for what they wish they had the courage to do. Stay focused and know that it’s not about you at all.
2. Consider the source. Before you respond, consider who is sending “hate” your way. 9 times out of 10, the person who is harassing you is someone who is feeling a little self-hate as a result of your recent success. Don’t gloat; be sympathetic without apologizing for your success.
3. Put on blinders and run your race. When I first started my career and experienced my first round of success, I learned a valuable lesson. I decided to stop focusing on what others were doing or saying. I literally put blinders on and decided to follow my plan and run my race. It continues to serve me well. I highly recommend that you endeavor to do the same.
4. Refer to your big why when confronted with jealousy. When people start showing you attention that you deem to be negative, you’ll likely start to question whether or not your success is a good thing. It is. When you start to experience the “downside” of success, remind yourself of your big why. No matter what comes my way, it’s easier to deal with when I remember that I am on a divine assignment and what I do and why I do it is bigger than me.
5. Whatever you do, don’t apologize. I can’t stress this one enough. No apologizing for your success. Period. You did the work and you deserve the reward. You may choose not to flaunt your success (if you want) but don’t apologize for it. Stand tall and step into your success.
So, now I want to hear from you, what’s your two cents? How have you dealt with hate, jealousy and negativity in the midst of achieving a big goal and enjoying a new level of success?
©2015 by Darnyelle A. Jervey. All Rights Reserved. Darnyelle A. Jervey, MBA, The Incredible Factor Business Optimization Coach and Mentor, is the founder of Incredible One Enterprises®, Incredible Factor University® and the Leverage Your Incredible Factor System®, a proven step-by-step program so you experience financial and spiritual abundance in your life because of your business. For more information and a FREE audio CD “7 Critical Mistakes Even Smart Entrepreneurs Must Avoid for Clients, Connection and Cash Flow!” just fill out the form below.