You are who you think you are

“Who you are is not the reason you don’t enjoy success; you’re destiny is hindered by who you think you are not.”
Darrnyelle A. Jervey

Who do you say that you are? Who do you think that you are? As you know the saying goes, “you are who you say you are.” So who will you be this day? We have a responsibility to be true to ourselves, when we represent ourselves in truth, we will be Incredible.

I remember when I was in the 5th grade. There was the pretty little girl, she was mixed and had long flowing thick, curly wavy hair. She was beautiful and I envied her. For so many reasons I cannot remember, I thought that if I could walk a mile in her shoes, somehow my life would be better. She came from a “good” family…her dad was a judge and her mother an affluent member of society…they had it going on. Even at that age, I shattered my ability to be the best me I could be because I thought that being a carbon copy of her would somehow be better.

How many of us have felt this way? How many of us see someone today and declare that if only we could be like them….

Well, as I have said before, you can only be the best copy of them OR you can be the authentic Incredible you by learning to change your definition of yourself. After all, as a man thinketh so is he Proverbs 23:7

I think that no matter the societal problem a person faces,the result stems from who they think they are. Take the man who abuses his wife, girlfriend, etc. He is strong arming her because he doesn’t believe that he exudes strength. He feels that if he controls her, that gives him power but what he is failing to realize is that power starts within…if only he could see himself strong and able to control his situation by being a thermistat and not a thermometer, then he would feel secure in who he is and not have to take strength and power away from someone else….. take a woman in an abusive relationship. She doesn’t believe that who she is deserves to be treated better than her current state so she stays and makes excuses for why she is his doormat….

My point is this…you are who you say you are and who you say you are is exactly who others will say that you are….Who do you want others to say that you are? After you answer that question, be sure to ask yourself what it will take to truly be who you want others to say that you are?

As always, here are my tips:

1. Inspect the Incredible – we have to constantly do a self-assessment and to borrow from one of my favorite Michael Jackson songs, we have to start with the “Man in the Mirror…. We’ve got to ask him to change his ways. If you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a change.”

2. Be Authentic. Honesty truly is the best policy. Be honest with who you are. Like I said earlier you can only be a good copy at best of someone else but if you be who you were created to be, you can excel at that role everytime.

3. Learn to love yourself. To do this, you have to spend time with yourself getting to know your likes and dislikes. Learn to see yourself through the eyes of the Creator. When He made you, he said “It is good.”

4. Attract the Incredible. Seek out relationships with people who want the best for you and people who know your worth. Self worth is more valuable than net worth in any portfolio and because of your self worth, your net worth will grow exponentially with people who support and believe in who you are.

5. Do something everyday to increase your self image. Doing something everyday will create a habit and positive habits are what leads to significant growth and change.

6. Be the change you want to see in other people – I guess this goes back to looking at the Man in the Mirror…but be a beacon of light. Marianne Williamson’s poem Our Deepest Fear says that when we let our light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same.

7. Fear the fear, but do it anyway. No matter what comes your way, feel the fear but don’t let the fear hinder you. Fear is normal as long as it doesn’t stop you from achieving. You were only born with two fears but you are afraid of your own shadow….That’s not the way it was intended. Get over it but doing it anyway. What is the worst that could happen?

8. Repeat positive life affirmations out loud to yourself in the mirror. This is very important because you will have what you say. So if you speak about it, you will naturally bring it about.

I hope my tips help you this “Walk it Out” Wednesday. It is my sincere hope that I may reflect myself in truth so that I can be a catalyst to invoke Incredible change in your life.

Be Incredible,

Darnyelle A. Jervey is a national empowerment speaker, author of 5 books and life consultant. She is the CEO of Incredible One Enterprises, LLC. For more information, visit

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