I recently had a session with an astrologist where he told me that I am a “Role Model Hermit.” Initially, I laughed. “What in the devil is a role model hermit, anyway?” Then I thought about it and I realized that I am a role model (my work puts me out where others can see and gain inspiration) and a hermit (my favorite thing to do when I don’t have to be on center stage is chill, be mellow, relax and shield myself.) Upon this realization, I knew that I couldn’t possibly be the only person who could be described this way.
So here’s the challenge – when you are a hermit building a business, it may become a problem.
The very nature of building a business means you have to get out of your own way and position yourself to evoke change in the lives of others, but you have to do it in a way that also protects your gifts while allowing you to make an impact.
Well, I totally get it and that is exactly why I was delighted to answer Candace’s question in this week’s episode of Incredible Factor TV.
“Hi Darnyelle, I am naturally introverted, yet God has placed giftings ranging from singing, acting to business, writing and speaking within me. I am also a very sensitive person emotionally and spiritually, so while I understand that we are called to POUR out to others, I also REQUIRE a lot of alone time to not only recharge, but to create and learn, and just think.
What tips can you offer those of us who are introverts, in terms of ‘safeguarding’ our ‘bubble’ of emotional space while constantly being ‘handled,’ by clients, customers and the general public? Business is about building relationships yes, but I need a lot of my ‘self’ to be reserved for myself if that makes any sense.”
Check out my response to her question here:
As I share in the episode, most brilliant people are introverted extroverts, meaning we come out of our shell to serve. It’s not comfortable but it’s always rewarding. It’s who we are and how we do what we do. Since your gifts are not for you or about you, you have to remember why you were given the gifts in the first place – for others. As the bible says, your gifts will make room for you so you will be given grace enough to replenish so that you can serve, BUT you may want to compartmentalize your gifts if you’re feeling too stretched.
In order for your gifts to add value and impact the lives of those you’ve come to serve, you have to make a consistent effort to understand who you are, what you do and how doing it impacts others. When you are a heart-centered entrepreneur or business owner making this connection is as important as having a tagline.
Here are a few strategies that you can leverage to serve well and protect your gift:
1. Be clear which “gifts” are for the marketplace and therefore for others. Every gift is not a marketplace gift so you need to take the time and Inspect the Incredible – you know, complete that all encompassing self-assessment to get clarity about what needs to be leveraged for the marketplace. The others may be what you do in your “down time.” When you take the time to get clear, you will immediately understand how to best leverage those gifts that are marketable to solve the problems of others.
2. Make a commitment to give your business the same respect you gave your job. Once you’ve gotten clear about which gifts are marketable, commit to spending time daily do the tasks that will expose them to those you are called to serve. One of the biggest mistakes made amongst business owners is not scheduling important tasks to ensure completion.
3. Set aside time every day for self care. Whether it be in 15-minute increments several times a day or making sure you get 8 hours of sleep each day, be sure to take care of you and therefore your gift. Whenever I discuss self care, I’m always reminded of what you’re told when you’re on an airplane… “should the cabin lose pressure, an oxygen mask will drop…please secure your mask before helping those traveling with you.” The fact is, if you don’t take care of yourself, your gift will be useless to those you serve.
4. Know your limits. It’s not cool to go too far and spread yourself too thin. My recommendation is that you know and respect your limits. Again, referencing number 3, if you somehow falter, you’re not going to be able to help others. Also, remember when to say no. No is a complete sentence.
5. Ask for help from colleagues, team members and clients when needed to avoid overwhelm. When you know how to ask for help and delegate, your gift extends and you give others the pleasure of assisting in the process of serving others. My recommendation is that you don’t deny others from helping you. Remember “team” says together everyone achieves more.
Now I want to hear from you, what’s your two cents?: Are you an introverted extrovert trying to find the balance between your gifts and your peace? What insights do you have for Candace? Thanks in advance for sharing insights to help others who struggle with the balance in this area.
©2014 by Darnyelle A. Jervey. All Rights Reserved. Darnyelle A. Jervey, MBA, The Incredible Factor Business Optimization Coach and Mentor, is the founder of Incredible One Enterprises®, Incredible Factor University® and the Leverage Your Incredible Factor System®, a proven step-by-step program so you experience financial and spiritual abundance in your life because of your business. For more information and a FREE audio CD “7 Critical Mistakes Even Smart Entrepreneurs Must Avoid for Clients, Connection and Cash Flow!” just fill out the form below.